It's Not The Years, It's the Memories

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dlgr:

hereforpizza:

weepingrockrock:

surrexi:

thedailywhat:

LMFAO Cover of the Day: After months of rearranging, 18-year-old Noah finally figured out how best to cover LMFAO’s “Sexy & I Know It” — and his rendition has just been named the day’s trending video by NBC’s Today show. You can almost see him blushing as he shares his big news with fans on Facebook and Twitter. Pretty obvious what’s going on here — Noah’s sexy and he doesn’t know it.

[hypervocal]

#I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT I LIKE IT

HIS VOICE.

omg

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. SHUT THE BACK DOOR, SHUT EVERYTHING, HE WINS AT LIFE FOREVER

Via Kat Krap

Video 2201Notes

kkatkkrap:

sparepage:

dislocated-cannibal:

neebles:

thievescollective:

Won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?

hyperventilates and pisses everywhere

woah, outstanding cosplay is outstanding.

DUDE.

Via Kat Krap

Video 10471Notes

wasdplz:

assortedstufffuckyeah:

kittensaresuperkawaiidesu:

[x]

ABUBUBUBUGUU I WANT IT

HANBVDSAH

I LOVE MY CAT, BUT SOMETIMES I JUST REALLY REALLY WANT A KITTEN, OKAY

Via Needs more WASD

Photo 7276Notes

Via Needs more WASD Zoom

juliedillon:

Quick fan art sketch. Tony and Bruce, hangin’ out at Stark Tower, being science bros doin’ science stuffs. (Slight spoilers, maybe?)

ugh god this movie. *_*

~~don’t worry melissa I’m still working on hawkeye~~

Chat 10321Notes

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
-----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
-----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
-----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
-----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
-----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
-----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
-----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
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Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
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Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
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Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
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Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
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Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
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Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
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Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
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Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
-----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
-----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
-----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
-----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
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Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
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Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
-----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
-----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
-----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

Via The song that plays when you best the world.

Photo 900Notes

Via Love makes us real.

fryan-berry:

Lady cat: You’ll write me?

Man cat: I can’t write. I’m a cat.

Photo 59681Notes

Via Hold on tight and pretend it's a plan. Zoom

absofuckinglutelymagical:

somuchforniceguys:

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Calculus

Harry potter and the prisoner of Algebra

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Theorem.

Harry Potter and Chamber of Calculus (provided)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Algebra (provided)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Analysis

Harry Potter and the Order of Operations

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Statistician

Harry Potter and the Deathly Algorithms

(Source: fontelitist)

Video 31273Notes

selfmadesuperhero:

tasteslikecoconutandmetal:

subterraneanbunnypig:

soiscrewedmycompanions:

valerieparker:

st-andrei:

#”Clint honey that’s way too big for her” ”she’ll grow into it eventually Tasha” oh oops what was that #oh no #oh I’m not actually sorry #oops
widowmaker:

#SOME POINT IN THE DISTANCE FUTURE #CLINT AND NATASHA GOT DRUNK AND FORGET TO USE PROTECTION #AND NINE MONTHS LATER MERIDA CAME ALONG #AND EVERYONE WAS HAPPY #TONY WAS DESIGNING HER A IRON SUIT #NATASHA WAS ACTUALLY SUPER PROTECTIVE LIKE #’SHE IS NOT LEARNING HOW TO KILL A PERSON UNTIL SHE’S NINE’ #’AT LEAST NINE’ #AND CLINT WAS LIKE ‘HONEY THIS IS THE ONLY WEAPON YOU NEED OKAY? DON’T LET ALL THE FANCY TECH FOOL YOU’ #’NOTHING TREATS YOU BETTER THAN A BOW’ #AND STEVE IS LIKE #’YOU TWO ARE THE ACTUAL WORST PARENTS OMG’ #AND THEN BOOM! #LOKI ESCAPED ASGARD #AGAIN #FOR LIKE THE GAZILLIONTH TIME #AND HE WENT TO STEAL SOMETHING FROM SHIELD BECAUSE WHY NOT? #AND MERIDA LIKE #ACCIDENTALLY LATCHED ONTO HIS LEG BECAUSE SHE’S TEETHING AND SHIT #AND LOKI IS LIKE #’WHAT IS THIS SMALL CREATURE DOING? OH MY GOD SHE’S BITING MY LEG GET IT OFF’ #AND HE DROPS HER OFF IN MEDIEVAL SCOTTLAND #AND THE KING IS LIKE #’I DINNA HAVE A CHILD OF ME OWN SO I WILL ADOPT YE’ #AND SHE LOVES BOWS #BECAUSE THEY’RE FAMILIAR AND SHIT #AND SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A LADY #SHE WANTS TO BE A BADASS MASTER SPY #BECAUSE IT’S IN HER BLOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Internet has been won. Everyone go home. Bye guys. See you never.

*Snorted and burst into giggles

FLAW. LESS.

REBLOGGING AGAIN FOR THE PERFECTION OF THOSE TAGS OH MY GOD